Bug City Pt 1

WARNING: This post contains all manner of insects, including many spiders. If you are arachnophobic, first, grow a pair, second, skip this.

INSECTS ARE EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD
It is only natural that in my travels I should encounter many.  And given the miles I cover, it's surprising how different a part of the world can be, even if it still calls itself by the same state name as home.
This is an absolute beauty who was hanging out on the hatch of a bin when I arrived once. It wasn't bothered at all by my scooping him on to my hand, so I took a little photo op, and then walked it over to a fence post in a grassy area.
I swear to god I could have one of these for a pet.

Here's a nice little killer lying in wait for a hand with a pair of keys to come by so that it may strike!

Early morning web invasion.
They like to set up right on the hatch, aka THE PATH THAT EVERYTHING TRAVELS THROUGH. Had to break it to this fella gently that it wasn't going to last.

 This might be the same one from far away. Positioning seems right.

Here is a mystery creature I wouldn't mind seeing again. I spotted this from my truck as I was driving. It was in an apartment complex directly in a 1-lane path.  Like some sort of caterpillar with fewer legs, the feet were so big and stubby. I didn't want to touch it so I moved it out of the way with a stick, since I had no idea what it even was I had no way of knowing if it was potentially poisonous. I doubt it would have done me harm, but seriously. What is this guy.

 Same dude, on grass.

Here is a proud monster.

Cicadas were around for two years in a row, here's some videos pertaining to that.

Here's a long skinny mystery bug.

 Not sure what this is. A grey block in my preview window. Broken file?

Some kinda giant grasshopper who didn't know a way out when he had it.

The end...

...FOR NOW!!!!

Assorted Itemz

Assorted items.

This guy wasn't so unusual, but the sight of him protruding from a bag was a little off-putting.

This is just the weirdest.

 Somebody drew a vulva in the filth accumulated on a bin. So I enhanced it. That all says "So anatomy, much vulva, very cervix, wow", by the way.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

It's Jesus time!

I had to ask a friend about what the purpose of these were. The best either of us could figure is that they assist somebodies ability to cheat at basketball.
UFO Shoes

Of Love and Regret

So I found this object.

 As a matter of fact I found about a dozen of them. I brought one specimen in for documentation.

There was something inside! Wrapped in plastic (RIP Laura Palmer)! What could it be?!

No, I said WHAT COULD IT BE!? This really doesn't tell me anything!

Oh. It's a wedding invitation. Oh my! Somebody put a LOT of money into these! Only to discard them because they decided they didn't want all of those 'guests' after all. Or perhaps they called off the wedding? I don't know!!! I was sincerely hoping that the invites would have had a future date on them so that I could show up, with an invitation, no less!!!


In another corner of the world, there was trouble in paradise. Or, what is the reverse of paradise? Trouble in somewhere where turmoil is commonplace. Trouble in The Burmuda Triangle. 

 Not sure what the word "unconditional" is doing here. You are very clearly laying down your conditions, my friend. Which is fine. Unconditional love is for victims. Stand up for yourself, demand conditional love!

"Stamp that,
Killa" is one of the ultimate exits I've ever seen.
Listen, Killa, I found your note somewhere near Quantico, Virginia. A Marine town. I'm certain if Chris wasn't gonna clean up his act that you could find a more than suitable and willing replacement in a heartbeat. You're a smart woman, time to start living like one.
I could only interpret from the accompanying message which was written by Chris to his landlords stating that he would not return to the property that maybe, just maybe, Killa wised up and threw his ass out for good.

A Private Audience with King Goat

File under: Around a bin.

This is not one of my normal stops.  It's a place off route 70 in Maryland where, during the on-season, you can pick various fruits and vegetables. As you can see by my attire, I was here when it was very much off-season. (That said the bin was totally empty.) As there was none of the seasonal foot traffic to be found, there were a few creatures who greeted my arrival with their various calls. I left my truck only to be yelled at from across the way by a cute widdle goat. I told them I'd be right over.

Goat and an alpaca. I suppose the alpaca's probably weren't vocalizing for attention but the goat was not messing around. He demanded attention!

So I paid them a visit, but it mostly seemed like they were just saying hi. Alpacas and Llamas have this way of just kinda looking at you and trying to figure out what you are without seeming like they're actually interested in you. Still, these guys were pretty awesome.

Noise Makers

If you're happy dance around
Move your body to the beat.

Those are the lyrics I think.

Hip Hop Randy

I met Hip Hop Randy recently. His song doesn't end. It just keeps going. When last anybody heard from Hip Hop Randy, he was in the lower deck of a ship crossing the Atlantic, squirming his arms around in the crowded darkness as his backup singers changed lyrics to public domain songs. They have not taken a single intermission.

The Happy Birthday Weirdo

Here's this weird thing. Don't you want this weird thing to sing the copyrighted birthday song to you without saying your name? It's purple mouth really accentuates the weirdness. Also weird, which I illustrated in the video, is that you could draw out the syllables of the song (to a certain degree) or cut them short depending on how long you squeeze the weirdo for. YOU HAVE TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT

Yellow Pillows

Baldie Potter

Had to one hand peel the hair back as I held my phone to film, but the idea comes across enough I guess.

Sheep pillow pal.

Not an odd item in any way, but I remember how when I opened this bin and the stuff fell out, this guy flopped down like he was jumping out to meet me. It was a fun moment in time.

Dumb stuff

Just some assorted items. Two new, two older.

Pixie Dust, huh? Is that why your nose was bleeding when you came out of the restroom, young lady?

Another day, another two dozen Disney World mouse pads.

 I just cannot fathom the occasion for the existence of this hat. Best case scenario, Dave's Old Porn would be a website where they review and make fun of the VHS pornography of yesteryear, but that's hardly a best case. We all have to jerk off some way, Dave, quit rendering your judgment on a bygone era. Worst case scenario, this hat would be worn by a women who was once lusted after by Dave who no longer holds his interest. "Best" and "worst" are unfortunately very relative here.

Part two: Dave's Old Porn official website

 It is an actual television show. I honestly think I've heard about this now. Dave Attell hosts, comedians talk about porn and so on. OK FINE this one is no longer thanks to THE INTERNET giving everyone the ability to answer almost any question without human contact.

Just fucking kill me.

Yeah, this wasn't "In a Bin" but it's something I see on a weekly basis along my routes.

Inaugural Blogural

Salutations.

I've been meaning to start this for a while, and I guess I have enough of a back-catalog of things to post now to make it worth our collective whiles.

I pick up clothing donations out of metal boxes that are set up in all sorts of different communities.  My jobs main aim is the collection of clothing and shoes.  But because the bins just sit out in the public 24 hours a day, there is no way to regulate the litany of other nonsense people throw in.

Sometimes it can be downright disgusting or degrading, as it is when people so generously give us their kitchen garbage.  Often times it can simply be an annoying hassle, as it is with larger items like mattresses and furniture, or broken glass items which the previous owner figured they'd take a chance dropping three feet down into a bin that they would have no way of knowing was cushioned or not.

But this blog is not a place for me to vent about annoyances faced on the job. The internet does not need another one of those. It could stand to have about ten million fewer outlets for people to complain about how bad they have it with their internet connection.

This is a blog about fascination and surprise. I am to catalog the weirder side of the free-for-all that is collecting donations from the unregulated public.  It is eye opening to see items which humanity has produced for commercial purpose that are just bizarre, unappealing, useless and designed poorly.  It is also a chance to glimpse into other peoples lives.  This job has a way of enticing the inner voyeur at every turn. After all, I am not a garbage man. The items that people place in our bins will all inevitably be seen and sorted by someone. If anything was meant to be private and destroyed, it went to the wrong place.

Crackhead Barbie

Crackhead Barbie is a simple one, and easy to explain, but nonetheless a stunning find.  Drawn on by a kid with a marker and discarded, she now rots in Juggalo hell somewhere.  I had this as my facebook profile pic for a while, so people have already seen it, but I figured she'd be a good one to kick this off. Isn't she a looker, folks?