NSFW

WARNING

TODAY'S POST MAY BE CONSIDERED NSFW. THE PROCEEDING IMAGES WILL BECOME SAUCIER AND SAUCIER UNTIL THEY ARE SIGNIFICANTLY SALACIOUS. DO NOT VIEW THESE IMAGES IF BEING SFW IS OF A CONCERN TO YOU.DID I DELIBERATELY POST THESE ON A MONDAY SPECIFICALLY TO PUT YOU IN THIS SITUATION OF SPLIT SECOND DECISION MAKING? THAT IS ONE THEORY.

It only figures that eventually some more scandalous items would make their way through. Some of them general, some of them personal. I see the occasional sex toy. A glass dildo here, a fleshlight there. Not terribly noteworthy, unless I see them together, in which case I have promised to conjoin them to commemorate the occasion.
So, dipping our toe in to today's post of scandalous imagery, here is a picture frame featuring it's default placeholder image.

Kinda racy, and I'm not talking about the bike amirite?!

Let's take a closer look shall we? 

I mean, it's not exactly revealing but it's 9/10 of the way to an upskirt. That's one way to make your generic picture frame stand out from the rest. 

Here's a horrible shirt. Wait did I say horrible shirt? I might have meant handy chart.

What's odd about this is ever since I encountered this shirt with a chart of breast shapes and their names, I have seen similar charts posted in meme format around the internet featuring similar but different drawings, and generally all the same nick names. However, this shirt is the only one featuring "WATERMELORS".

So it turns out I meant horrible shirt all along. 

Here's a few examples of cards from a card deck featuring sexual acts.  A holdout from a time when most men would only masturbate while gambling.

And lastly came this incredible beaver shot. A picture of a young lady, revealing her lack of underwear. Held by a hand, photographed again, and THEN PRINTED AGAIN, and once more, held by my own hand and photographed.

 I am honestly surprised that I haven't encountered more intimate/candid shots such as this, but what's striking about this is that I received this second hand. Literally. It's almost as if somebody found this photo of his buddy's girl in a compromising position, but he knew he couldn't keep it for himself, so he took his own picture of the picture. Not only that, but this perving friend had a specific attachment to the photo in physical form. And then one day, it wound up in a donation bin to a clothes recycling company.

Here it is, scanned, presumably for better quality, although I think the size of my photo of the photo is physically larger. The photo itself seems so relatively timeless. An old looking couch, could be from the 60's onward. A pack of Marlboro cigarettes, a design practically unchanged since it's inception. The woman's clothing style, nonspecific. Her hair style, just a little long, not seemingly from any exact era. No DVD's or remote controls scattered around the couch area to help pinpoint the place in culture. This could be a person holding a photo he had found of his own mother from decades previous. There's almost nothing to go on other than that this photo was taken after the advent of color photography. And maybe the 60's.

It's hard to tell, but the subject may be holding up drug paraphernalia.

The utter lack of pixel quality was helpful in deciding to post this. The pelvic area is just kind of a non-specific blob of brown nothingness. It makes you wonder if the person who got rid of it did so because they realized the overall shittiness of the quality.

Notable Notes (1)

Here are a few intercepted notes I've received over the years.
This job feeds into the perfect level of voyeurism without causing me to feel like too much of a creeper.

I believe there may have been jewelry with this:

I hope (she) does too, Andy.

Brace yourself for some racy innuendo!

"Lunch time"

Meanwhile, Sydney awaits in he qoumroom.

Do you think she'd let me?

Here's a conversion attempt that seems like it didn't quite play out.

Sorry Kirstin (sp?), it seems like your feminine wiles were not quite enough to ensnare Adam into your cult! Keep practicing though!

 Elsewhere in the world, an unavoidable system of communication has been established by a couple with substance abuse problems...

 Wrap your angry message around a tall-boy and it is sure not to be missed. The recipient may even respect this tactic enough to drink the beer without removing the note!

When I tell people about the crazy things I've seen, this beer can is up there in the list. I LOVE how the note SEEMS to pick up mid-idea, like there may have been more objects with angry notes around the home leading up to this conclusion(?!). I LOVE how you see this angry note, wrapped around a beer can, containing an accusation of theft of methadone, and after all that is the realization that IT'S WRITTEN ON CUTE ANIMAL STATIONARY.

I love that this person does not default to ten-digit phone numbers like the rest of us in the 21st century (thereby allowing me to publish it unedited.)

Ms. Jessica Gugel, you are one in a million.

The Baby Laffin' Mystery

Here's some videos from four years ago from the course of a day when I was trying to track down the source of some demented laughter...

The solution to a mystery is seldom as satisfying at the course taken to arrive at it.

Dumbness Returns: Revenge of the Dumbness

And then there was the day when I received numerous bags of plastic bottle caps.

 Does this person believe they are recycling? What did they do with the bottles? Probably sent them to an actual recycling operation. But they saved the bottle caps separately as though they needed to be recycled through a different process, namely through a clothes recycling effort.

Here's a video to demonstrate the sound of thousands of plastic caps (where available): 

So generous. 

Gesundheit, Elsa.  

 Here's a waste of manufacturing, as evidenced by a person ridding themselves of it:

 We have a thing against single-purpose appliances in our household. Things like this are just clutter. How 'bout you just not leave the dip out as long? Is that so tough?

Here is a returning product, with more elaboration. You may recall a bag declaring "Baby Bullet" from a few posts back. Here's the full product, and yeah, this one's useful.

However, that NAME.

 Y'see using the word bullet has certain connotations and designating that it is to be used on a baby is even more problematic...

...because I DO get those, too.